When I was 16 years old, for my birthday I was finally going to get my very own puppy and my excitement was unexplainable. Eevon Rose Franklin, 2 months old, Norwegian elkhound mix and a little lazy ball of fur.
Eevon, who was in every sense of the word my first child, my best friend, my confidant and my fuzzy jester. I remember carrying her around the neighborhood, taking her to friend’s houses and playing chase around the table. She got into the trash, she ate my Easter, Christmas and Halloween candy. Neither of us was perfect. She had a hunger to learn, as long as there were treats but she was also good at making her own rules for things. I can’t ever thank her enough for being there for me when I felt I had no one else, laying her head on my lap, listening intently to my words and barking “I’m sorry you’re upset mom, maybe we both need a snack?” That’s my fuzzy butt, always knowing when I needed a laugh and a snack. It didn’t matter how big or how small she was always there to listen and lick away my tears.
To my beauty queen, we almost made it to 17 years together, not a day goes by I don’t miss you, that I don’t hold the locket containing your fur and wish I could pet you one last time. I think back to that final day, holding your paw in my hand, watching you sleep peacefully knowing that far too soon you’d be gone, counting down the hours to 8:20 a.m. and dreading every minute. Holding you for the last time, reminiscing together and laughing about our silly antics. I told myself I’d hold back the sadness so you wouldn’t be upset and when you kissed me that last time I really wanted to cry but I kept my promise. That day could haunt me forever but I know it was right.
You were in pain, you were suffering and I knew you would fight for me but I needed to do what was best for you. Your beautiful soul shouldn’t ever know pain. My favorite memories will always be those ones no one else saw, taking our walks, laying in bed, talking to one another, conquering tricks, sharing Cheetos during our movies and sitting outside watching the world go by. April and Eevon alone in the universe.
Losing you is not something I’ll ever get over, there will always be an Eevon shaped hole that no one can fill and I now find myself trying to find anyway possible of keeping you close to me. Your beautiful pine box, your paw print cast, your lost teeth and all that lose fur I sat and picked out than unconsciously put into any available pockets. Pieces of you to go along with my memories.
Until we meet again my beautiful girl. Mommy loves you.